[TI] HUMOR - SUNDAY DINNER FOR ITALIANS

[Sally Glenn]

Oh Laura what wonderful memories! We are a lucky people.
Sally ann Piazza Glenn
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Laura Johnson" <rngade57 at madisontelco.com>
To: <terminiimerese at comunesofitaly.org>
Sent: Wednesday, March 31, 2010 7:14 PM
Subject: [TI] HUMOR - SUNDAY DINNER FOR ITALIANS


> *Sunday Dinner for Italians*
>
>
> Italians have a $40,000. kitchen, but use the $259 stove from Sears in the 
> basement to cook.
>
> There is some sort of religious statue in the hallway, living room, 
> bedroom, front porch and backyard.
>
> The living room is filled with old wedding favors with poofy net bows and 
> stale almonds (they are too pretty to open).
>
> A portrait of the Pope and Frank Sinatra in the dining room.
>
> God forbid if anyone EVER attempted to eat Chef Boy-are-dee, Franco 
> American, Ragu, Prego or anything else in a jar or can (tomato paste is 
> the exception).
>
> Meatballs are made with Pork, Veal and Beef. We are Italians, we don't 
> care about cholesterol.
>
> Turkey is served on Thanksgiving, AFTER the manicotti, gnocchi, lasagna 
> and soup.
>
> If anyone EVER says ES-CAROLE, slap 'em in the face -- it's SHCAROLE.
>
> If they ever say ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP, let the idiot know that there is no 
> wedding, nor is there an Italian in the soup. Also, the tiny meatballs 
> must be made by hand.
>
> No matter how hard you know you were going to get smacked, you still came 
> home from church after communion, you stuck half a loaf of bread in the 
> sauce pot, snuck out a fried meatball and chowed down you'll make up for 
> it next week at confession.
>
> Sunday dinner was at 2:00. The meal went like this...
>
> Table is set with everyday dishe s...doesn't matter if they don't 
> match...they're clean, What more do you want?
>
> All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the napkin goes on 
> the left. Put a clean kitchen towel at Nonno & Papa's plate because they 
> won't use napkins.
>
> Homemade wine and bottles of 7up are on the table.
>
> First course, Antipasto...change plates.
>
> Next, Macaroni (Nonna called all pasta Macaroni)...change plates.
>
> After that, Roasted Meats, Roasted Potatoes, Over-cooked 
> Vegetables...change plates.
>
> THEN and only then (NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL) would you eat the 
> salad (HOMEMADE OIL & VINEGAR DRESSING ONLY)...change plates.
>
> Next, Fruit & Nuts - in the shell (on paper plates because you ran out of 
> the other ones).
>
> Coffee with Anisette (Espresso for Nonno, 'Merican' coffee for the rest) 
> with hard Cookies to dip in the coffee.
>
> The kids go play...the men go to lay down. They slept so soundly you could 
> perform brain surgery on them without anesthesia..the women clean the 
> kitchen.
>
> Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna - half the sentence was English, the 
> other half Italian.
>
> Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but can nail you in 
> the head with a shoe thrown from the kitchen while you're in the living 
> room.
>
> Prom Dress that Zia Ceserina made you...$20.00 for material. Prom hair-do 
> from Cousin Angela...$Free. Turning around at pr om to see your entire 
> family (including Godparents) standing in the back of the gym... 
> PRICELESS!
>
> The true Italians will love this, those of you who are married to Italians 
> will understand this, and those of you who are friends with Italians will 
> remember
>
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