[TI] HUMOR - SUNDAY DINNER FOR ITALIANS

[Laura Johnson]

*Sunday Dinner for Italians*


Italians have a $40,000. kitchen, but use the $259 stove from Sears in 
the basement to cook.

There is some sort of religious statue in the hallway, living room, 
bedroom, front porch and backyard.

The living room is filled with old wedding favors with poofy net bows 
and stale almonds (they are too pretty to open).

A portrait of the Pope and Frank Sinatra in the dining room.

God forbid if anyone EVER attempted to eat Chef Boy-are-dee, Franco 
American, Ragu, Prego or anything else in a jar or can (tomato paste is 
the exception).

Meatballs are made with Pork, Veal and Beef. We are Italians, we don't 
care about cholesterol.

Turkey is served on Thanksgiving, AFTER the manicotti, gnocchi, lasagna 
and soup.

If anyone EVER says ES-CAROLE, slap 'em in the face -- it's SHCAROLE.

If they ever say ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP, let the idiot know that there is 
no wedding, nor is there an Italian in the soup. Also, the tiny 
meatballs must be made by hand.

No matter how hard you know you were going to get smacked, you still 
came home from church after communion, you stuck half a loaf of bread in 
the sauce pot, snuck out a fried meatball and chowed down you'll make up 
for it next week at confession.

Sunday dinner was at 2:00. The meal went like this...

Table is set with everyday dishe s...doesn't matter if they don't 
match...they're clean, What more do you want?

All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the napkin goes 
on the left. Put a clean kitchen towel at Nonno & Papa's plate because 
they won't use napkins.

Homemade wine and bottles of 7up are on the table.

First course, Antipasto...change plates.

Next, Macaroni (Nonna called all pasta Macaroni)...change plates.

After that, Roasted Meats, Roasted Potatoes, Over-cooked 
Vegetables...change plates.

THEN and only then (NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL) would you eat 
the salad (HOMEMADE OIL & VINEGAR DRESSING ONLY)...change plates.

Next, Fruit & Nuts - in the shell (on paper plates because you ran out 
of the other ones).

Coffee with Anisette (Espresso for Nonno, 'Merican' coffee for the rest) 
with hard Cookies to dip in the coffee.

The kids go play...the men go to lay down. They slept so soundly you 
could perform brain surgery on them without anesthesia..the women clean 
the kitchen.

Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna - half the sentence was English, the 
other half Italian.

Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but can nail you 
in the head with a shoe thrown from the kitchen while you're in the 
living room.

Prom Dress that Zia Ceserina made you...$20.00 for material. Prom 
hair-do from Cousin Angela...$Free. Turning around at pr om to see your 
entire family (including Godparents) standing in the back of the gym... 
PRICELESS!

The true Italians will love this, those of you who are married to 
Italians will understand this, and those of you who are friends with 
Italians will remember