[TI] From child to parent

[Ann Catalano]

It seems that everyone on this list is dealing with the same issues.  My Mom
(who some of you met last year in Cleveland) is 89 and having many of the
same issues that you all speak of.  A few weeks ago my 3 brothers and I
rushed home because my Mom was in the hospital and my sister, who is the
primary caregiver, felt she wasn't doing so well.  Stubborn German woman
that she is, she has rebounded sort of.  But a wake up call for those of us
who do  not live in town.  The good news is my Mom is still in her own
apartment and my siblings and I have developed a system to give my sister
some relief.  Mom decided to give up her car (Thank goodness) but that puts
more burden on my sister, who has her own health issues to deal with.  Mom
is determined to live to 90 (February 11th) and I think she just might do
it.  At any rate, her crisis brought my family closer together than we have
been in years.

I echo everyone else's thoughts on the difficulties of watching your
parent's grow old.  Mom's mind is still intact but physically, she just gets
weaker and weaker.  

On another note, I found an Italian Conversation group through Meetup.com
here in Buffalo that I'm going to check out.  I've been looking for a way to
practice my Italian so that I'm ready for the trip in 2011.

Ann Catalano

-----Original Message-----
From: terminiimerese-bounces at comunesofitaly.org
[mailto:terminiimerese-bounces at comunesofitaly.org] On Behalf Of Joseph
Laiacona
Sent: Monday, October 05, 2009 8:38 AM
To: terminiimerese at comunesofitaly.org
Subject: [TI] From child to parent

Five years ago my brother and I had to take charge of my parents and put 
them into a nursing home. It was an emotionally difficult task but their 
health and safety were our primary concern.

Like many Italians they had refused years of suggestions and requests that 
would have made life easier for all of us, and safer for them. When my 
mother fell out of bed for the fifth! time, she broke her ankle in three 
places. From the hospital to the nursing home, never to go back home again 
(except for a small party honoring their 60th wedding anniversary.

While my mom was in the nursing home, dad refused visiting nurses and his 
state deteriorated very quickly, so much so that the county health dept 
called my brother to say "Do something or we will." We had been making 
arrangements so there was no problem.

Dad passed away a year ago and mom has advanced Alzheimer's disease. Our 
consolation is that neither of them ever knew how bad their situation had 
become.

I write this not for sympathy but to remind each of you to make sufficient 
arrangements NOW for your future and not leave it to your children to make 
decisions that you should make for yourself. The truth is very clear. Many 
of us will become parents to our parents.

Joe Laiacona 



_______________________________________________
TerminiImerese mailing list
TerminiImerese at comunesofitaly.org
http://comunesofitaly.org/mailman/listinfo/terminiimerese_comunesofitaly.org